Update 2020

It’s been a while since I shared a post. The last was the letter to the 2019-2020 University Activities Board (UAB) Team in lieu of our end of the year banquet. Shortly after that I was placed on furlough and I went through a lot of internal reflection. I have multiple posts that I’ve written over the past few months but haven’t posted them yet. They are filled with confusion, anger, frustration, doubt, and fear to just name a few emotions and I’m not sure if I’ll ever publish them but it was lethargic to write them.

A lot has changed in the world and in my life since that last post in March.

Some positive change includes me leaving UAB for a new position in Student Life working with Student Organizations, Michael and I moved to a new apartment, I was able to do some work for my fraternity in the area of diversity, equity and inclusion, and I’ve started a small side hustle doing graphic design work

Some challenges I’m processing through include understanding my transracial APIDA identity in the context of the Black Lives Matter movement, stepping away from friends and family relationships that are toxic (some my choice, other were theirs), and overcoming imposter syndrome/not making an impact in the world.

So needless to say, being placed on furlough gave me nothing but time to think and focus on me. (Plus I had my 36th birthday in the middle of all things furlough and quarantine so that just gave it a glittery focus flag. LOL)

Image of Asian male smiling into a mirror. He is wearing a white tux shirt and white tux vest.

It was quite an experience. One that was thrust upon me when I didn’t want it but needed it. I was able to think about the what ifs, the maybes, the should haves and whatnot. I was able to just dream and consider plans for the future of things I would never have had time nor courage to consider including starting my side hustle, apply to a PhD program and taking on some leadership roles I thought I’d never be able to handle. Finding ways to affirm the work I do and the person I am for myself and not for others.

It’s given me a kick in the ass that I probably needed months and more than likely years ago. Needless to say, I’m excited going into this next chapter of life.

Deciding to be authentic and un-apologetically yourself is not easy and can be terrifying but the burden it lifts off your shoulders feels fabulous.

Until next time (which will be sooner than you think! :))

Peace Love and Pandas!

Published by Brian

I am currently the Assistant Director of Student Life for Registered Student Organizations and Late-Night Programming at Michigan State University. After earning my B.A. from the University of Michigan-Flint, I entered the Student Affairs profession. After a few years in the field, I returned to school and earned my M.A. in Educational Leadership-Higher Education Student Affairs from Eastern Michigan University. In my spare time I blog about my thoughts and musings on current issues in higher education, student affairs, digital worlds, identity development and general life inspirations and observations. I also volunteer a lot for my fraternity and multiple regional and national professional associations.

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