Hello NACA!
Currently, I’m sitting in the lobby of the Marriott Hotel in Covington, Kentucky, waiting for my two students Kadie and Brandon to come down for check-out. (FYI they’re not late, I’m just early LOL) I have my faux hotel Starbucks and watching/saying goodbye to old and new friends in between paragraphs.
This has been a great weekend because NACA is always fun. But it’s also been affirming as I enter the week of my interview for a new position on campus. Leading up to this week, as I’ve been preparing for the interview, I’ve been having some internal doubts about the work I have done, that I do and that I want to do.
However, sitting here his morning, in reflecting on the weekend, I’ve been able to witness the impact and the work that I have done.
I realized it in witnessing the UM-Flint CAB delegation living their best lives. As you may know I started my student programming advising with advising CAB at my alma mater and therefore, it has a special place in my heart. So when I first saw some of them, I said hi, and as it should be, they didn’t know me from Adam. But when I told them I had been their former advisor’s advisor when she was on the board, they made the connection. And while I never witnessed the impact I had on the campus or students when I was on staff, years later at NACA Mid-America 2019 I have been able to witness it indirectly in an even more humbling and heartfelt way.
Maybe this is a selfish reflection and boosts my ego. I hold that. But in entering this interview week I think I can hold a bit of humble ego in what I have done.
As I mentioned I’ve been having some self doubt as the week of my interview on campus has drawn closer. I know some of the candidates and they are freaking amazing. However, for the past 2 weeks, I’ve been sitting in comparing myself to them and each time I find myself always falling short in everything from their experiences, their leadership styles, their decision making process, their personalities, all of it.
But this weekend has helped to remind me that whether or not I get the position, I do good work. I’m not perfect but I’m authentic in my work and in who I am. I know the type of leader I am, the employee I am, the advocate and cheerleader I am. And it’s me.
The good thing is that if another of the candidates is selected, I know that I will be able to work with any of them as my supervisor and that they can help me grow and develop into a better professional. And honestly anything is a growing opportunity. And I know that one day my time will come. Maybe it’s now and maybe its later and maybe it’s never, but I’m better understanding that regardless my positionality in the structure of any office, the work I have done and continue to do has made impacts and that I can make a difference in other ways and I don’t need to have to have a seat at the table in order to do so.
And as a caveat to any of my students reading this, especially those beginning their first professional job search, this is always a constant thing every human goes through. Everyone gets nervous and second guesses themselves in the process. It’s natural. I’ve been doing this for over 13 years, and still the same doubts and questions arise.
But find those nuggets of goodness to help you find your foothold in the good you do and the things you know and own it and just you do you and you be you.
Thanks for reading through my rambling 🙂
Until next time
Peace, Love and Pandas!
Hello World, Its Me, Brian 