Struggling to Make Meaning

I’m really struggling with the Ferguson decision, the resulting incidents and reactions, and my own relationship with the multitude of issues that this tragic event has forced all of America to address.

I’ve tried not to do too much original commenting and speculating, but rather keeping to observing and re-tweeting and sharing points that I agree with. I think for the most part if you read through my social media you’ll get an image of me being very passive aggressive with the issues as of right now.

Now, I am very much on the “What the Hell was that Grand Jury thinking?” side and questioning the future of our nation. I’m very much on the struggle bus with how to talk with my students and help them process and make sense of the events and decisions being made because i myself am struggling with it. I am very disgusted with the privilege I’m seeing with many people, and it’s spanning across multiple identities including race, gender, and sexual orientation. It’s seems to be pitting minority group vs. minority group and minority populations vs. majority populations. And I’m very much in tune that it’s bringing to light differences between friends and family. And many are not able to accepts one another’s views and many relationships are tense, if not have ended, as a result of the past week.

So, to sum it up, I’m struggling. And all I’m coming up with are more questions:

I’m struggling with whether or not I’m being a strong enough advocate for the fight against racism.

I’m struggling with acknowledging what my personal experience with racism has been and how has it helped or hindered my journey?

I’m struggling in respecting the conversation but also wanting to broaden it to an overall race conversation.

I’m struggling in articulating my view that it is stemming from an overall issue of equality.

I’m struggling as an Asian, on what is more appropriate: to talk about racism as a minority or as a majority?

I’m struggling with continuing to articulate my belief that every identity has its challenges, opportunities and that this battle is beyond race, and police brutality but of our society.

I’m finding it hard at times to accept that while a minority, my experiences are different than other minority populations and theirs are different than mine. Sometimes it seems as though we are fighting each other for the chance to be heard and are marginalizing other minority populations as we fight for equality for our respective identities.

Overall like everyone else, I’m struggling to try to make meaning and understanding of everything that has happened and what the long term implications of everything will be.

I have no answers to any of my questions and more questions are piling up in my mind and heart. Sometimes it seems as though being an #SAPro we need to have the answers, to offer advice and opinions that are politically correct and appropriate. But I don’t have any answers and my opinions and comments are more than likely not politically correct for either side. Rather, I’m finding myself answering my questions with more questions. Granted, such is life, but maybe if we ask our questions to each other rather than giving opinions and trying to be an expert on the situation, we can eventually learn and grow rather that hit these walls that we are encountering. So I’m sharing my questions.

Courtesy of oprah.com

Courtesy of oprah.com

What questions are you struggling with?

Until next time

Peace, Love and Pandas!

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About bdproffer

I am currently the Assistant Manager for the University Activities Board at Michigan State University. After earning my B.A. from the University of Michigan-Flint, I entered the Student Affairs profession. After a few years in the field, I returned to school and earned my M.A. in Educational Leadership-Higher Education Student Affairs from Eastern Michigan University. In my spare time I blog about my thoughts and musings on current issues in higher education, student affairs, web 2.0, LGBT issues and general life inspirations and observations. I also volunteer for Kappa Sigma Fraternity.
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